Beer Wars



Sharing a beer flight with Sarah at
Titletown Brewery in Green Bay. 
Might I add their steak fries are delicious.



This evening I watched the movie Beer Wars.  It's all about America's beer industry and how a bunch of greedy capitalists have ruined your beer.  That's right, that watery crap you've been drinking, that so called light beer; that's not beer.  I really don't understand how people can drink that crap.  A couple years ago I started to drink beers with more flavor and decided that I needed to expand my beer drinking.

That's right, I became a beer snob.

It's true, I pride myself on being a beer snob.  At my 10 year class reunion I drank soda because I wasn't going to lower my standards for a Bud Light.  I can no longer drink Bud, Miller, or Coors without getting sick, literally, give me headaches.  It all taste like sugar water.  Perhaps all this snobbery started with the Old Chicago Beer Tour, but today I learned that most of those beers are still owned by the major corporations.



Dear Miller Light,
Our Relationship is Over.
Forever!

 My snobbish pride got even worse after moving to Wisconsin and learning to home brew with Erik.  Brewing beer is so easy and so much fun.  I'm surprised how much my taste buds have changed.  The only beer around here that I really drink is Spotted Cow or anything else from the New Glarus Brewing Company, and I love the local brewery, Titletown Brewery.   

The thing is, I associate light beer and these big companies with alcoholism.  Good beer is expensive.  And when you have a good beer, are you going to chug it, or sit back and enjoy it with a nice steak off the grill.  That's what I thought.  You are going to savor that fine brew.  But if you are just looking to get wasted, are your going to spend eight to ten dollars are a local six pack of craft brew bottles, or are you going to buy twelve aluminum cans of the cheap shit and do beer bongs (Beer in a can???  Isn't the point of that to stick it up a chicken's ass?).

I get so frustrated looking at all these pictures of "kids" on facebook drinking that cheap beer, because what are they doing, getting drunk.  The whole purpose of drinking crappy beer is to get drunk.  I know, I was in high school once, too.  I used to think Budweiser had flavor, then I grew up.

So grow up people.  Support your local economy that gives a damn about the environment and appreciates the art and craft of brewing, and stop drinking that commercial shit you think is beer.

29

Back when I was in Junior High there was this band called the Gin Blossoms.  You might remember the song, "Hey Jealous."  On the same album (this was back when people bought and listened to the whole CD) there was a song called "29."  As I approached my 29th birthday I remembered this song.  That's when I remembered this line..."29 you'd think I'd know better..."

My friend Heath tells me that 29 is a turning point of sorts.  Big things happen at 29.  This is because Jupiter returns to the position it was in when you were born (it takes Jupiter 29 years to run around the sun).  At 29 you either grow-up or get left behind.  Perhaps it's the limbo of all ages, your early 20s are long gone, but you haven't really made 30 (which I've decided is some magical age where everything comes together).

I hope this year brings more wisdom and maturity to my life (but not too much).  Maybe I will finally learn how to manage my money.

So far the year has started off well.  I got to see the Packers beat the Viking with my dad at Lambeau Field.  It was a really good game and time.  We parked my car by the stadium early in the day, then that night my mom dropped us off.  The great part (besides the Vikings losing and getting to watch Clay Matthews) was hanging out with my dad.  Dads are great at making you feel like a kid and buying you nachos.  Because secrectly, I still feel like I'm 12.

Home

Sometimes I wonder why I was so determined to leave West Central Illinois.  What would be so horrible about having a few friends from high school and seeing my family more often?  Perhaps if I just moved back home I wouldn't be so lonely all the time.  I would have people to go out to dinner with and friends to drink hot chocolate with.  I could go to my parents on Sunday for dinner.

But I'm not "home."  I'm not even sure what that word means.  I refer to my apartment as home, but I feel so lost.  I feel like my soul is spread all over the midwest.  I've made this circle, jumping back and forth over the Mississippi River and for what?  What am I really accomplishing in Green Bay?  Am I really making a difference?  Am I really living out my dreams?  Can I really stay here much longer?

I've been here over a year, and I believe I've been asked to dinner by a members of my congregation maybe twice.  I keep looking for ways to meet people.  I keep trying, but I'm not very successful.  I just blend in with everyone else and no one knows I'm new. 

I know I'm a strong, introverted person, but I really dislike Green Bay.  Cedar Rapids had more to do then this town. 

I cross off the days on my calendar, but what am I waiting for?  I'm going to be 29 and I know that's not old, but it feels like it is.  I feel like I should be making a bigger difference in the world.  That I should be doing more, something extreme, but I'm not. 

Let the Freaking Out Continue

Yep, I'm still a little freaked out by my decission to become a pastor.  My life will never be the same, but it's not really a scared freak out, it's a just a little freaked out. It's not a "I can't do this" it's a "What did I just do?" 

Today's Friday, so it's my day off!  I know, I took Monday off as well, but I only work 32 hours a week and I had board meetings this week, and that pretty much sucks up all my hours.  I hate meetings.  I know they are important, but sometimes they are just so painful.  Maybe I should start to knit during meetings to pass the time.

On the path to becoming a pastor, I have turned in my application and scheduled my psychological evaluation.  I need to still schedule my initial interview (I'll call on Monday) and read some short book.  Then December 9th and 10th my candadicy committee gets together and decides whether or not I am destined to a be a pastor.  If they decide yes, I will be taking online classes in Feburary, pending being admitted to the Seminary.  I also have to surrender my MA in order to transfer my MA into a MDiv.  I'm a bit shaken up about this.  I worked so hard for that degree, and I have to give it back if I want to count those years towards my new degree.  On the plus side, I am 15 credits (+ Greek), CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) and 1 intership year away from my MDiv.  I'm thinking it will take 3 years...maybe???

Oh, I think I will be planning a mission trip to Puerto Rico next year!  I called the Lutheran Camp, and quickly learned that I need to brush up on my Spanish.  I'm hoping they call back; I'm also hoping to find someone to translate :)

Wonderings...

Sunday was wear-your-Aaron-Rodgers-jersey to church day, I mean Rally Day.  We had a big kick off in the sanctuary and I planned a little pep rally for us.  We sang some songs, did a little cheer, and I wrote a skit for the teachers that was our "starting line-up."  It turned out pretty well.  On the downside, I didn't have enough tables and chairs for my Sunday School class and I'm a bit worried it might be too crowded, but if that's my only problem, I'm doing pretty well.

I've spent three days at church/work, so I decided to stay home today.  Also, I was up until 1am because I drank too much Mountain Dew while watching football and couldn't sleep.  I spent my day knitting.  I also signed up for about 10 promotional items (guess who's getting a free snack from Kashi!) and telling Sarah that boys are stupid.  I started looking for a part-time job as well.  I could use an extra 10 hours a weeks somewhere, otherwise it's going to be a drab Christmas.  I am broke. 

Which gets me wondering if this is the right time to be making the decision to go back to school and get my MDiv.  I have been pretty excited, but ever since I put my application into the "out" pile, I've been a little freaked out.  What have I done?!?  This is not to say that I'm not excited and certain I'm on the right path, it's more to say I'm a little freaked out about the path I've decided to take (or did I decide???).

Today when I was filling out a part-time applications (I desire to be a cashier with little responsibility), and I thought more and more about how I'm a leader.  I really do like being in charge. 

I pray for...

I am horrible at prayer.  When I have things at church that I need to lead a prayer for, I write it down first and then read it.  I'm sure this is acceptable, but I wish I could just pray out loud, but the only prayer that comes naturally from my mouth is "Come Lord Jesus."

I try to be a good little Christian and pray for my neighbors and friends in need.  I try to confess my sins and give thanks, the later being easier. But I also feel like a total slacker.  I get into bed at night and my first thought is "Shit, I forgot to pray."  I then try my best to pray in the way I was taught or I just give up trying my own thing and opt for the Lord's Prayer (which to be fair I pray at least twice a week).

Last night after I was done praying, I thought to myself: I am horrible at this, I am a rotten person.

Then I remembered that I am Lutheran and that thanks be to God I am not given my salvation based on my prayers and deeds.  Thank you God for GRACE!

This doesn't mean I stopped praying, I still pray.  But I pray for stupid things, like Doritos or bacon.  The thing is, sometimes I usually get those things.  (But come on, what cookout doesn't have chips???)  I kind of wonder if my prayers were really answered, or it's just coincidence.  Because why would God answer a prayer about food cravings and not about curing a dear friend's cancer.

These are the things I struggle with, but instead of running from them and declaring God non-existent, I've chosen to run in the other direction, having God embrace me in him/her arms and trust me to become a disciple and teacher of the The Word.

A Day in the Life of Me

I have decided my job is the most awesome job in the world.  Here is what I did today:

I made a posters with the letters G-O-D.

I wrote a skit about football.

I talked to a woman about Lilith.

I donated our Vacation Bible Camp materials.

I wrote an outline for Rally Day.

I discussed with a friend Jeremiah, potters and clay.

I sinned boldly and ate the Confirmation kids M&Ms.

I called the synod office to see if I was on the right track for a MDiv.

I emailed teachers to make sure they were on the right page for Sunday.

I cleaned off my desk.

I registered 4 kids for Sunday School.

Okay, maybe it sounds boring when I write it all out, but in truth, it was a very exciting day.  Espeically the part where I downloaded the font for ESPN in order to make a poster for the skit.  I mean, does your day ever involve making posters and eating M&Ms?  I think not.  My job is awesome.

Bienvenido Otoño!

I arrived home from Minnesota this evening to my living room feeling nice, crisp and fall-like.  I'm so glad I left all the windows open.  I put on a pot of hot chocolate and then decided tonight was a night for writing and thinking, and not numbing myself in front of the TV. 
I then took 30 minutes to make a "Fall" playlist on itunes.

I absolutely love Fall.  It is hands down, the best season.  A great excuse to curl up with a hot drink under a blanket and watch attractive men hit each other.   I love watching the leaves change color.  I can actually start running outside again because it's not super humid.  I can ride my bike to work without being soaking wet.  I'm so excited for Fall.

This last weekend I went to the Twin Cities for my friends Megan and Jason's wedding. This was the most emotional wedding I had ever been to.  Well, maybe for me.  When my friends Staci and Greg got married I was super excited, but I was in the wedding so I was kind of wrapped up in the day.  This time I got to see two of my friends come together and I just watched.  It was a great service.  It was so nice to go to an actual wedding service that wasn't horrible.  Weddings are just horrible, but this was good. 

I don't know how I didn't cry this weekend.  The wedding service made me emotional.  The toasts made me emotional.  Seeing all my friends made me emotional.  And then I went to Redeemer Lutheran Church for worship on Sunday....Pastor Kelly sermon was about answering our calls to God and being a part of God's plan.  Wow, talk about coincidence.  I'm surprised I didn't bawl my eyes out went I hugged Stephanie, who is the best hugger in the world (her hugs are better than Gay man hugs according to Anita). 

It was a good weekend.  I am super tired and my mind is racing with so many thoughts towards the future and those good old questions about the purpose of life, dreams, and goals.  I plan on sipping some more cocoa (3 mugs!) and catching up on my Bible readings.  I might even try to finish reading Uncle Tom's Cabin, which I've been reading since April.

Whatever happens, I feel pretty content right now.  Do I miss the boy, yes, but I always will.

Into the Great Wide Open

Lately I've been filled with mixed emotions.  I've been so down about Erik leaving for Norway, and that whole relationship in general. Who goes off to Norway and just tells their girlfriend without any openness to a discussion for the future...after dating for a couple years. 


In the end, I really needed to stand up and say, "hey, when am I am going to be a part of these decisions?" because I've never been.

Which gets me to thinking about relationships and life, and what does my future exactly hold?

I was thinking it's Bob Dylan's fault I can't find a guy.  I have these hopeless romantic notions of being the Girl from the North Country or Absolutely Sweet Marie.  I'd even go on to blame Neil Young and Tom Petty.  I really do need to date a musician or a poet. 

I've actually decided to go back to school and become a pastor.  I'm in the process of apply for candidacy and to school.  I've talked to my pastors as church and we're going to work something out so I can work and go to school.  It will probably take me forever, but the way I see it, I'm going to be a pastor for life and this isn't something I'll do "for awhile."

I am excited about it, and a little nervous.  I do love my job and I love working in the church.  Yes, there is some political bullshit, but I think there will always be no matter where I go and what I do.  The point is for some reason, I absolutely love talking about God and my Faith.  I love to talk to others about their faith.  I love the Bible and those stories.  I eat it up like it's chocolate.  Crazy, but it has to be.

My future is wide open.  I may still be lonely in Green Bay, but I do love what I'm doing here and I'm not ready to leave it.  I'm going to leave it up to God (or I guess the ELCA) to tell me when to move to the next place...

It Worked!

I never cease to amaze myself. Seriously, I can be pretty awesome. I decided for all my Sunday School Teachers and Volunteers I would have a Teacher Training/Orientation Dinner. And the amazing part...people showed up...to something at a church! I made some broccoli cheddar soup, bought some french bread, some fruit, and baked some brownies. It was all so yummy.

What amazes me is I planned this meeting, and some how managed to lead it and it went well. I don't mean to brag, but this never ceases to amaze me. I planned confirmation...and it worked. I planned a mission trip...and it worked. I planned Vacation Bible Camp...and it worked and they kids had fun...and I had fun! And tonight, I sat down with other women and told them all about Sunday School and schedules...and they listened.

I guess this means I'm in the right job. Although to be honest, I've never had anything fall apart on me...well, in the category of work.

I completely suck when it comes to relationship :)

Being Infinite

Last Tuesday I was coming back from Door County late at night with my friend. We had just driven up to his grandma's to drop off some of his belongs and say goodbye to his dog before he leaves to go aboard. We always end up listening to the Talking Heads together. I think it was Naive Melody or maybe Burning Down the House, but we got into this conversation about songs about houses and homes or what not, and started a discuss of how many songs can we think of that have the word home.

This led to listening to Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Our House." The only word that can sum up how I felt driving through Sturgeon Bay as we giggled about the "two cats in the yard" is infinite. That moment you just lose yourself in and never want to leave.

I think the hardest part of the Mission Trip I led (besides worrying about girly girls) was not having my IPod with on the trip. I wanted more than anything to lose myself in a song as we rolled around the NorthEast by train. That's not to say my week wasn't filled with song.

While waiting for the subway, I often caught myself singing Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues." "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel and Petula Clark's "Downtown." And what is more fun than singing songs from West Side story on the actual West Side? Standing outside the Dakota Building and sitting in Strawberry Fields I just wanted to hear Imagine.

It was a great trip. I don't think the point of short term mission is so much to help the people you travel to, but maybe it is to change your life just a little.

Countdown to NYC

It's been so hot and muggy lately. And it's always raining, so it's been hard to motivate myself to work out. Plus I'm so stressed with this Mission Trip coming up. Yes, I know it will all be okay, but I'm still a bit stressed. I want everyone to have a good time, be happy, grow in their faith, and arrive safely home. I'm not really sure if I'm cut out for this mission trip leader stuff. But I guess the best way to find out, is to give it a go.

Life has been busy as usually. The girls came up and I took them around Green Bay. We went our for cheap Mexican food, to Bay Beach Amusement Park, to Door County, church, ran a beer run, and then went to the America's largest kitchen store (it's really not that big).

For the Fourth of July I went Up North with Erik to his grandma's cabin. It rained so I was forced to learn a million different card games and didn't even get to go boating or fishing. Erik did give in and play scrabble with me and we did a puzzle.

This week I went to a Brewers' game at Miller Park with Erik. We tailgating in the parking lot with his little cheap grill. The people next to us were celebrating a 22nd birthday so they were all getting very drunk. One of the girls ended up tipping our grill over. Which turned out okay because it became an opportunity for us to get to know our neighbors and we got some Spotted Cow Beer and birthday cake. The Brewers even ended up winning in the bottom of the 10th.

I leave for New York City on Saturday. I've never been to NYC, so I'm very excited. I'm mostly nervous about how crappy I get when I don't have any time to myself and when I have to travel with other people.

Reunions, Weddings, Camp

I just realized it's more than halfway through June and I haven't written anything this month.

I've been out of town the last two weekends. One weekend I went home for my 10 year reunion. It was good to see everyone and catch up as well as hear my brother's band play at the local bar.

Then the following weekend I went to Iowa for a roommate's wedding. It was okay. It was decorated beautifully. However, there was no alcohol and the wedding was a little too conservative/crazy religious. Yes, I work in a church, but I'm not down with wives submitting to husbands and husbands being the head of the household (unless you are actually going to preach that text right, please leave it alone.) Nor, was I okay with the groom practically asking the guests to come forward for an alter call. Thanks, but Jesus already chose me and I read Romans all the time, it's very Lutheran. In the end, I hope the bride will be happy and I hope she will have a voice and he loves her and treats her like a princess.

This coming week I will be at confirmation camp. I'm a bit nervous since I've never been to camp, but it'll be okay. This afternoon I went to the mall to find some shorts. LOL. Good luck. I could not find an appropriate attractive pair of shorts to wear to camp or for the mission trip this summer. I look stupid in those Bermuda shorts. I ended up getting discouraged and feeling unfashionable and went home for lunch, but I have no food because I've been out of town and don't want to go shopping since I'm going to be gone again :(

That is my life in a nutshell. I'm debating turning on the air, but I can suck it up. I'll just go shopping again :)

Animal Friendly

I'm a bit obsessed with looking at what other people are buying when I go to the grocery store. I'll admit, I'm a bit judgemental. Sometimes I just want to yell out to the obese woman that all those diet meals and diet pop are not going to help you lose weight, but instead, try eating some carrots. So early Wednesday morning I noticed a chubby little girl with her mother in front of me waiting to check out. It looked like they were buying her school lunch, because all they had was a lunchable. She was looking at the cover of TIME magazine. On the cover was a picture of the oil spill.

This made me incredibly sad. What had we done to this girl? What have we done to her future? Here we are polluting both her world and her body.

All this has promoted me to become a vegetarian, except in matter of hospitality (Read Acts 10). Although, I won't be a strict vegetarian, if I want to buy meat it's going to have to be organic and hopefully local. I'm remembering the line from Food Inc, where he says that every time we go to the store and purchase something, it's like voting, so even though I have such a tight budget, I'm trying to buy one organic thing each time I go.

It's the small things that matter :)

26.2

"Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it."

Back in December I decided I wanted to start running again. But a 5K was too easy and I knew I would be frustrated if I trained for a half marathon and didn't beat my time. After two years off, I needed something different. So I decided to go all out and achieve one of my goals, the marathon.

After months of training, a knee injury, and lots of time on my bike, race day came.

My parents came up for the race. My father used to run when I very very little, so my mom have some experience of trying to find me on a race route. Saturday we went out for lunch, try curling, toured my church, and then ordered pizza and spent the evening in.

I have to say, I didn't have anxiety with all the other races. I slept alright. I think this might be because I live one mile from the starting line, so I knew traffic wasn't going to be a problem for us. Or maybe because I knew I was going to set a record no matter what I did. Or maybe because I just didn't care if I did fail, because I had tried. I dunno.

The start of the race was a 7am. It took me over 4 minutes to cross the starting line. There were that many people.

I decided I would try to run a 5 hour marathon, so I paced myself with the 5 hour team for the first 5 miles. Then I had to pee and that took a few minutes. My parents met me around mile 3 and then I saw them again around 8. My mom carried a bag with all the stuff I might want: extra socks, shoes, Vaseline, band aids, gu, etc. This was very helpful. I think it's what got me through the race, knowing I had support every 3-5 miles.

I ran pretty strong the first 13 miles. The marathoners and half marathoners run together for the first 12 miles. There were much more half marathoners and they would shout things like "3 more miles!" And I would go, "No, it's 16 more miles." At the split the halfers when left and I went right. Wow, that was something. Everything changed. The numbers thinned out and there were less people cheering.

The hardest part of the marathon I thought was between miles 16-19. Those four miles sucked. In my head I just wanted to get to 20. That was my goal. I wanted to get to what they call "The Wall." Apparently runner's hit a wall and just want to quit. This didn't happen to me. Running in 90% mental and I was mentally there the whole time. I wasn't trying to beat a certain time, I was just trying to finish, and this really helped.

At Mile 20 they had a big inflatable wall and there were 100s of people making a tunnel to run through and slap hands. I knew at 20 it was a new race.

There were more people cheering because we started to run downtown.

I walked a lot of this race. My IPOD playlist was set in a such a way that I had a fast song, then a slower song. So I'd run the fun songs, and relax during the slow. I highly recommend this.

At Mile 22 I listened to Journey's "Don't' Stop Believing."

At Mile 23 I thought "I only have a 5K left. If Anita can run a 5K, I can run one too." (How I found that logical after running 23 miles, I do not know).

At Mile 24 I started getting teary eyed. There were only 2 miles left, and really, what is 2 miles after you've ran 24. It's nothing.

At Mile 25 I decided I would dedicate my last mile to my sister, so I tried to run most of it.

When I got to Lambeau Field I still had enough energy to run around the entire football field. My IPod was really working for me because I was running to Todd Rudgren's Bang on the Drum.

Then as I made my way out of Lambeau, the Rocky song started playing. Somehow I had enough energy to kick it in and cross that finish line strong.

When I crossed I yelled, "I DID IT! I DID IT!" To which all the volunteers congratulated me and hugged me.

After I got my medal and t-shirt, and I met my parents and I started crying. I knew I would, because I cried when I ran my first 14 miles ever. I just kept saying, "I did it. I ran 26.2 miles."

I have never done anything like this. Sure, I've done a few halfs and they had prepared me for what to expect and I knew my needs pretty well. But the whole thing was incredible.

Am I nuts for thinking about doing this again next year?

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." -Prefontaine

Jesus Loves Hockey

Every morning I like to listen to the radio as I take my shower and get ready. I try to listen to the “pop” station to know what’s going on in music. It’s a work thing. What amazes me is that the DJs are older than me, yet still work for this station. I know they are older because the one DJ is always singing the oldies I listened to as a kid. But this post is not about old DJs.

One thing I love about radio is random facts. In the afternoon they always do the “this percentage of people blah, blah, blah…” Well, the other day the fact was something like this: “Couples who do this are happier than couples who don’t do this.”

And no, it’s not sex.

My thought was couples that cook and sit down for a meal.

This is also not true either.

The answer ended up being couples that go to sporting events.

Sporting events? Is this a joke? Does this mean that if you keep the man happy you are more likely to have a happy relationship?

Doubtful. I actually think it goes back to creation.

Tonight with my friend and I went to the Clark Cup USHL Championship game here in Green Bay. It was game 5 and we ended up getting cheap seats because the game ended up selling out. But still, it didn’t matter because we had a blast.

There is something about sporting events, and that something is…wait for it…COMMUNITY!

Sure, it’s not your Sunday worship or youth group getting together to serve at the local shelter. But it is complete strangers gathered for one soul purpose, to cheer on their local team. To share in the defeat and victory (and maybe watch a fight or two). There is just something about how the crowd claps together, how we do the YMCA together, how the music makes us want to jump! jump! It’s like a wedding almost. For one night we come together to celebrate our hope in this one team.

Tonight when the jumbo-tron called for more cowbell, I felt united with my fellow fans. I was part of something that was bigger than myself.

And this is what Christ has called us to do. Not go to hockey games, silly. Well, not exactly. But we are called to live in a community. We were created to live in harmony with each other and all the "critters." My favorite verse sums it all up, "it was not good for the man to be alone." We are called to be sisters and brothers. We are called to be the body of Christ and live as one.

And it’s time we get a little bit more confident in taking this idea outside the rink.

Food, INC: How do you reconnect and fix the earth?

Last night I watched Food Inc with Erik. It was really eye-opening, especially for someone who grew up in a farming community. I could understand someone living in the city not thinking about where their food comes from,but I grew up with friends who raised hogs and seeing my sister go off to de-tassel corn every year.

Once when driving through Iowa and Illinois Erik asked if he could eat the corn in the field. I knew he was just being silly, but still I answered, "No, most of the corn you see is feed corn." And he replied, "Where is the people corn?" That I didn't know. 18 years of living in this small farming community and all I knew about "people corn" was that our farmer friends usually gave us free bags of sweetcorn around July.

I could sum up the entire movie, and tell you all about the evils of the food industry, but I think you know, while you just don't know. Some of the stuff I learned was just amazing. How McDonald's changed the industry. Or how in Colorado you can't publicly say anything negative about the meat industry. Apparently the first amendment doesn't apply to your rights when you want to express your views on eating beef. I learned that Monsanto has a monopoly on the soybean seed. (Erik says they are the same company that invented Agent Orange.) That cows don't digest all that corn they are being fed. And you wouldn't believe the oil companies involvement in all this. Let's just say they are making a pretty penny by moving all that fed and food around.

I'm pretty concerned about being a conscience consumer. I know that our desire for cheaply made food is costing us our health and the lives of those in other countries. I know that eating fast food just helps pollute our earth a little more. (What I didn't know was how our illegal immigrant situation plays directly into this). I just didn't really know how bad it is and at whose benefit?

I recently re-read Rob Bell's Sex God (Read It!). The book talks about how sexuality is how we connect to each other, to God, and to the earth. We are definitely disconnected from everything. Sure, we have all this technology that God has given us the power to create, but are we really connecting? No. And because we are so disconnected from everything, we are polluting ourselves and our world. One of the points in the book talked about how we are so disconnected from earth (dirt) physically. Part of sexuality is being able to hold earth in your hands. Think about it. In Genesis 2 we are created from dirt. from earth. God breathes his breath/spirit into us. Then we are put into a garden to care for it. Our purpose was to care for this garden. And we blew it.

Because someone was curious.

Because somebody's helpmate just stood there and watched.

Because we became shameful and hid.

And the story is true because it shows how disconnected we become when we stray from our responsibilities

to God.

to the earth.

to each other.

And this gets me thinking about our food situation. If we aren't connected in anyway to what we put in our bodies on a daily basis, then why should we even care about who we share our bodies with?

Hello teen pregnancy.

STDs.

Abortion.

Brokenness.

Which brings us to the next part. Now what? How do we change the disconnections? Where does one start? (Especially one paying off tons of credit card (a disconnection from reality) and student loans.) How do you fix the earth on a budget?

Well, this is what I am doing now to connect to the earth and people. I recycle. I am biking whenever I can. It takes time, but I actually get to interact with people when I bike. I get to wave and say good morning to those out on their morning stroll. I save energy by unplugging everything I am not using. And I've started an organic container garden on my porch (called the Container Garden of Eden).

I'm planning on shopping at the Farmer's market when it starts in June. I love the farmer's market because you get to meet the grower and you get to walk around like it's a big festival every Saturday. My favorite part is when I get to walk around to see how much I can really get for a quarter. It's all about connecting.

My next step is to try to buy more organic foods. I think this will be pretty hard. I try to buy as few processed foods as possible. For health reasons I stick to the outside aisles of the supermarket. But I'm not sure I can afford to buy everything organic.

I don't eat meat. This started out as a single person/taste/cost thing, but now it will move beyond that. I just want my meat coming from happy cows. Maybe since I live in Wisconsin I will focus on supporting the local organic dairy farms. Each little bit helps.

If eating one small piece of fruit can totally disconnect us from everything, then why can't buying organic carrots at the farmer's market bring us back?

Gold Stars for Going Green

I was that kid, scratch that, I am that kid, who likes to earn stickers. I am just competitive. My parents taught me competition in sports and games, and for some reason I carried that over to the academic world, and into the rest of the world.

I'm always trying to do better than someone. More miles, more pounds, eating healthy, I love to achieve and I love to boast about it.

So it comes as no surprise that I have recently entered a competition with myself to see how many days I can go without driving my car. I suppose I talk about this often. But the hippie in me gets really pissed off every once in a while and decides I will no longer conform to this American life.

The oil spill got me going even more. I don't need your damn oil, I just need my pedal power.

On Earth day I listened to a program on NPR where a guy gave up his car for a year. I thought about it. Not completely possible for me; this is a somewhat rural place and public transportation sucks. But after hearing him I felt so guilty about driving my car. I'm perfectly capable of riding my bike to work, or walking to Target to pick up shampoo.

So I'm going to try better. Sure, it's about being green. But then it's also about saving money. And then it's about being healthy. But more importantly it's about taking time to slow down and enjoy life. It's about not being in a hurry anymore and noticing the smell of the flowers, the pelican diving for fish in the river, the doggie out for his morning walk, the sun rising in the East.

In the end it's about priorities and taking time to enjoy God's grand creation.

Don't Stop Believin'

For some reason I probably hear "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey at least 5 times a week, sometimes more. What is it about this song? I heard it on my way home from "work" tonight. Just the end of it. Being the dork I am, I thought, what if Jesus was singing this song.

Does Jesus not sing to the small town girl that is very lonely and just needs to flee to escape the emptiness of living in an area where no one understands? Is Jesus not with the boy from South Detroit wishing to escape from his poverty to a better life? What happens when you share a smile with a stranger? Have we not all searched in the night to find emotion?

We may work hard to find our fill, but salvation comes through faith. Some will win, some will lose, but only in this world. Or not. What does the judgment really mean?

If some were born to sing the blues, does God have a plan for all of us?

What feeling am I holding on to? The feeling you get when you feel this is all real?

Oh Streetlight people, those who have been oppressed and suffered in this world. Don't Stop believing. Hold fast to your faith, because justice will come.

Adulthood

On Wednesday I washed my car and while I was sitting in the car wash I looked around my car and noticed how clean it was on the inside. "Wow," I thought, "I'm an adult." So long ago were the days when I used to just throw soda cans in the backseat. Now I don't even drink soda. This is clearly a sign of adulthood.

It's been that kind of week. Perhaps it is the new fancy planner I bought. I just feel very in control. It's been awhile since I've over drafted my bank account or asked my parents for money. I'm starting to actually pay my credit cards down (thanks be to God!). And I really feel like I'm taking off at work. The other night I lead my small group guides meeting. The pastor usually does this, but it was amazing. I wasn't even nervous when I realized the pastor was not coming. I asked for feedback and received it. I asked for supplies for next week and people volunteered to bring things. It was so cool.

I never thought of myself as a leader. I was never a team captain or on student council, or anything like that. Popular people got voted for those things in high school, not real leaders. Perhaps my three years of being a cheer-leader really did pay off:)

But I really am a leader in the church. My passion/talent for planning and my creativity has found a place. Who knew I had the gift to delegate? Even cooler we will be having an intern and I get to be on the internship committee. I've even recently been called a risk-taker.

So all in all it's been a very positive week.

Oh did I mention, I'm going to Elton John tomorrow night. :P

Recap

This afternoon I went to the spa and got a massage. Apparently I am stressed. No surprise there. I love work, but lately it just seems like the end isn't soon enough. The end being Sunday School/Confirmation. I've reached the point where I am ready to sit back and evaluate the last year, breathe, and then make changes. It's not that work is overwhelming, and I'm just one of those people who get easily stressed out about everything...my two favorite things being my love life and money. I decided the solution was the spend money on a massge instead of online dating. Perhaps I'll do online dating in the summer.

I've been doing a great job excercise and getting in tune with my body the last few days. Saturday I ran 20 miles. I did break it up and took a couple breaks (one was lunch), but I injured my knee and don't want to overdo it. I'd rather the marathon kill me then the training. Monday I tried a yoga class. This lady definitely made me work and it was a lot faster pace yoga then last time. Monday afternoon I tried Hula-Hooping. It's a class called Hooked on Hooping. I like the YWCA, but the classes are so small...and it's all women. How am I suppose to meet a man?

Other than that, I took a mini-vacation to Madison to visit Sarah. We had a great time chatting and eating ice-cream. I even got to hang out with "her" young adults. It made me jealous of large churches, but I don't think I would like working in a big church at this point, although I would like Madison.

I've been plotting my travels. I really need to go somewhere. I'm hoping I can save up enough money to go aboard for Christmas/New Years. This will upset my family, but it's the best time to go.

My other goal I'm working on is getting out of credit card debt by my 30th Birthday. I'm doing allright at this, perhaps if I actually got a cheaper apartment I would be putting away money faster. Oh well, this is life.

Broken Hearts, Teeth, and Bumpers

March kicked my ass. This week I went to the dentist. Bad news. I had a cavity. Good news, I now have insurance and only had to pay $98 to have it fixed, as well as X-rays, and my teeth cleaned. It was pretty painless, but my mouth was numb for the rest of the evening, and it was a bit sore today.

Then today I decided that I was actually going to go into work on Friday. I try to get all my hours in at the beginning of the week, but I wasn't feeling too great Monday, and Tuesday/Thursday I spent the afternoons at the dentist and volunteering at the senior community. On the way to work, I was rear-ended by a guy that didn't have a driver's license or insurance. He gave me his information, but he didn't want me to call the police. Needless to say, I did. He was pretty rude to me, acting like it was my fault and he told me "you people don't know how to drive." I'm not sure what "you people" mean, because I am the one with the license and the insured car. He took off, and I drove off the bridge to the church parking lot and called the police.

The police officer was friendly, cute and single. I gave him the information. I spent most of the morning on the phone with the insurance company. There is not much damage to the car. It's around $600. The outside bumper has some paint scratches and the inside foamy bumper thing is cracked, but nothing serious or structural to my car. I took it in and got an estimate. I know it looked fine, but you never know and I do pay for my insurance and that what it's for. 3 hours and 30 minutes after my accident I had a check for $115 to pay for the damage (I still have to pay my deductible since the guy didn't have insurance and all this complicated crap).

I feel bad about calling the cops, because the guy obviously is not in the best situation financially or he would have had a better vehicle or insurance. I try to be compassionate, but he was breaking the law by not having a license. What if he's one of these guys who has 5 DUIs and is still out driving around? That drives me nuts and he should be responsible and have insurance, even if Wisconsin doesn't require it until June.

In the meantime the heart is still healing. I miss Erik a lot. We are going to an arena football game tonight. I have concluded that I am ready to look for other men, but not quite sure if I am ready to date.

This Green Bay Life

I had a bit of a downer of a weekend. It happens, no reason to beat myself up about it. I felt pretty sad about Erik most of the weekend. I really missed him, but in truth, he's really not been in my life for the last three months, so it's just the same kind of sadness before. At least now I have reason not to call and hear him with his lame excuses just disappointing me all over again.

Needless to say, this sadness made it hard for me to go running Saturday. I didn't run my 12 miles. I only did 4. I came up with every excuse, but the truth is I just wasn't mentally there. Running is all mental. Well, a huge part of it is mental. You do have to be able to physically run. I spent all day Saturday hanging around my apartment reading The Help. It was really good and I couldn't put it down. The book tells about the relationship between white women and their black maids as well as race issues in Jackson, Mississippi during the early 60s. It was fascinating and my mind is back in time down in Jackson. I miss those characters. So much I just want to start reading another book.

This afternoon I took a little walk and then went to Barnes and Noble to browse. I parked myself in the running sports section and read some inspirational quotes, because God knows I need it this week. A woman was also looking in that section and she told me she downloads pod casts of This American Life to listen to while she runs. I never thought of that. I used to love A Prairie Home Companion, especially The New from Lake Wobegon, but I got kind of sick of it. There are only so many jokes to be made about Lutherans in Minnesota.

I'm thinking about online dating. I did update my profile and do a little searching. Just about every guy I've glanced at likes fishing and the outdoors or has a cabin or boat. And yes, they are almost all Packer fans. Surprise_surprise. I was surprised that I have already gotten as many emails and winks as I have already. (I haven't subscribed so I can't read them). But then it's a much smaller pool then in the Twin Cities. This might be good for me.

Moving on Up

It's been a crazy, busy, emotional week. Sunday I ran 16 miles all on my own. It was just too crappy to run on Saturday, and Sunday was super nice. I ran down to Lambeau Field and back 4 times, which is about 16 miles, more or less.

Sunday night Erik and I had one final talk, and called the relationship completely quits. He wanted to stay friends and keep from burning the bridge between us, but that would never work with me. It had to be all or nothing, none of this bullshit of waiting for him to decide what he wants. We were just making each other miserable. I've been so lonely that I've wanted him around constantly, and with internship he just hasn't been there, both emotionally and physically. (The Catholic Church might be on to something by not allowing priests to marry). I kept demanding more from him, and he would try, but nothing was good enough. So it's kaput. In a way, it's liberating. I no longer have to worry about his wavering commitment to the future. Instead of wondering if I'm in his plans forever, I can just now make my own plans, and if he wants to be with me, he must find me.

Of course, the whole ending of this relationship has given me time to reflect on myself and the world. I've realized how broken the body of Christ has become. We all have shit to deal with, and nobody really talks about it. We just sit and suffer hoping it all goes away. We think a good day means it's all over. I told Erik how lonely I have been and he asked "well, have you asked people to call you?" Um, no. Doesn't that sound a little desperate and needy? The thing is, clearly my needs were not getting met, and clearly I was not asking for anyone to help me. So I've made a better effort. Hello people, call me. Clearly curling and running were not enough to keep me balanced.

My friends have done a great job this week. I got a phone call Monday from Sarah, and Amy called Tuesday. I've receive facebook messages and Anita starts my month off right with Post Card Day (only the greatest holiday ever!) Actually, I think more people should do postcard day. There is just something about real mail and knowing that someone make an effort to go get a postcard and a stamp to make you feel loved. It's so much better than facebook.

Anyway, I've realized the body of Christ is so broken and it becomes more clear to me each and every day that I work in the church. I think God had the right person in mind when he picked me to work for him. He must need my passion, organization, and inspiration to fix this shitty situation we have all gotten ourselves into. Oh, and my big fat mouth. God gives us the greatest gifts :)

Things are looking up in life. Now that I don't have to worry about Erik stuff, I've stopped crying all the time and feeling like my life is a complete waste of space. I haven't been so depressed this week. I think the spring weather has helped (as well as the 10 pounds I've lost!). Randomly on my run Wednesday I considered buying a house. Yes, because now that I know I don't have to worry about moving somewhere with Erik in a year, I can be a homeowner.

I even went bar hopping on St. Paddy's Day. One of the confirmation group leaders is close to my age and we started talking after confirmation and I told her we should go get coffee sometime, and well, we ended up going to the bar and I got home around 11. It was so nice to be out in public and talk with someone. (It was also interested to see who in Green Bay goes to the bars....not much competition here.)

Things are looking up. Life is pretty busy. Goals are being set. Now, if I can win more then $5 at the Casino.

The Catcher in the Rye

I just finished reading The Catcher in the Rye. After J.D. Salinger died, I felt this sudden need to reread it. I think it's been ten years since I've picked up the book.

The thing is, it took me forever to read it this time. It just fell flat for me. I remember it being this amazing book, but this time I couldn't relate to Holden at all. I thought he needed to grow-up and get his shit together. All he did was hate everyone, including himself. It was just painful to read page after page of him suffering inside himself. And that got me thinking, why was it ten years ago this book was so great to me, and now Holden is so annoying. What has changed? Have I changed? Have I grown up? Did I lose some kind of innocence that allows me to identify with Holden? Did I completely miss the point of this book?

I suppose I'm not in high school anymore, but what does that mean in itself? Who am I and where am I going? I suppose I am like Holden in that I need to have some direction. Am I really happy where I am? Why has it taken so long for me to achieve the things I've wanted to achieve and what really is the definition of success?

Perhaps the purpose of such a book is to make one think about their own life and direction.

14 Miles and Running

Today was the big day. My first 14 mile run. I've done 13.1 three times, but never 14. When I was training for 5Ks that might have been what I ran in a week. The alarm went off at 6a.m. and I made my traditional race day breakfast, oatmeal. I realize this is not a race, but I feel 100 times more confident if I eat oatmeal for breakfast.

God gave us runners a gorgeous day. It's 40 something now, but this morning it was sunny and mid-30s. This brought out a bigger crowd...which is just what this 11 minute miler needs. Slow people behind her:)

The Preva Training team sets up water stations every 3 miles. This is awesome. I don't have to worry about staying hydrated, and I can mentally break the route into 3 mile sections. Plus I get to meet other runners and volunteers. The conversation is something like "thank you" for being out here and giving me water, to "we're almost there." It seemed like today there were a lot of people who were getting over colds or had leg cramps. I joyfully ran past them, even though I know that they are more serious runners that are faster than me and just having a bad day.

I wasn't even done with my first mile when the IPOD completely froze up on me. I was joyously singing "Damn is Feels Good to be a Gangster" when it just stopped. I thought I had bumped it, but no. God had other plans for me today. There were enough people out, hills to run up, and streets I've never been down to keep me distracted. I sort of ran the first 6 with this older bald guy, and that kept me going for a while. We talked about snot. If you are a runner, you understand.

I'll tell you the best part was when I got to the last water stop and had only 2.0-1.5 miles left. When I saw that last water stop, I knew I was going to finish. That even know I hadn't walked through the door to the Bay Park Mall Food Court, I was already there jumping up and down with joy. There would be no wall hitting on this run.

I finished in 2:37:01. This is something like an 11:13 mile, which I accept. That includes traffic lights and hanging out at water stops. I know race day will be faster. I also used the Gu stuff for the first time. When I did get to the Mall I had a huge smile on my face and just wanted to scream aloud "I did it! I did it!" I think people would have looked at me funny, plus I didn't want to draw attention to my smell.

After running those 14.0 miles, I really feel like I can do anything...including get out of debt.

On another note, Erik and I ended our relationship. Well ended/break. It just wasn't working. Neither one of us were happy with it, and we were just making each other feel bad. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be with each other or how we feel about each other. We've just been having the same conversation for over a month with no solution. I think we both have things to work on in our personal lives. I for one need to stop caring about this status quo stuff and the pressure I feel on me to get married. Anyway, hopefully some space will enable us to work it out, instead of constantly pushing each other's buttons. We still plan on spending time together, so we'll see.

Last night we went to the Hockey game with Grant, Kate, and Matt. The Gamblers are in first place in the East and they played Omaha, who is in first place in the West. The game went into Overtime, and then a shoot-out. None of us had ever seen a shoot-out. There was also a fight, but the refs were being jerks and not letting them really go at it. Erik and I almost won Chuck-a-puck. Our puck was the closest one to the red dot, when another puck, in what resembled a play in curling, took ours out. The Gamblers ended up losing the shoot-out. I really want to go again tonight. But I have no money, and no one besides Erik to ask to go, and there's that whole giving him space thing. I think tonight I am going to start planting some seeds and stuff. I know it may be too early, but I'm anxious.

Marathon Training

My training is going all right. First the positive. I am up to 12 miles (14 this coming weekend). I have not felt any pain in my knees (this has been a problem in the past, but I'm lifting weights this time). I have also lost at least 5 pounds. I actually made the training run on Saturday and it was a good time. (Even if me and 2 other girls got lost along the route. No better way to make friends and bond then completely missing a turn). It was nice to have water stops set up for me and to be in a "race" atmosphere.

On a downward note, I wish I had lost more weight by now. I've only lost about 1/2 a pound per week. I blame my large consumption of cookies and junk food. I can usually make it most of the day eating alright, then I need sugar. Research tells me I need protein, but really, how much protein can I eat? Meat is expensive for a single gal, I get sick of eggs and cheese, and nobody wants to be around me when I eat beans.

I've also decided to cut back on the amount of running I was doing. Instead of running 5 days a week, I'm going to do 3-4. My body just needs more recovery. Sorry training schedule, you're not cutting it. So today I hit up the gym and did the elliptical, which was a good reminder as to why I would rather run. I despise that thing!

On another note, the boy has decided he's going to be studying in Norway next Fall. I am super unhappy about this and, as of now, do not know the future of our relationship. The last semester he went aboard turned out very poorly and he completely sucked at maintaining the relationship, in fact, he failed. And this time I can not afford to come visit. To fly to Norway is twice as much as Mexico, and I'm having a tough time as it is paying bills and affording my nice apartment. There is just no possible way to save up $1,000 by Fall, even if I stop driving my car.

Oh, well. The only thing to do is put my faith in God and trust that I am where I need to be and what will be will be. I'm planning on staying in Green Bay for another year minimum. Then it'll be time to either move up north to the U.P. or Canada. (Hey, those Hockey players were hot. And I already curl and love snow.)

Curling

It's time for the Winter Olympics and that means many people are starring at their televisions trying to understand curling. Sadly, all the curling is on cable. However, thanks be to my mother, I am able to watch it online by using her password for DirecTV. Ha-ha. It's better online, too. Hardly any commercials, and sometimes there is no commentary. I watched the men this afternoon at the gym and it seemed after every shot there was a commercial. It was pretty annoying. Plus I can watch other teams other then the US, such as Canada. Canada is fun to watch Curl. The crowd is so into it. You can be a professional curler in Canada. I am in no way ever going to be a professional Curler, but I sometimes dream of living in a little dinky northern town with a two-sheet club.

It's fun being part of a strange sport that nobody understands. I get lots of questions. My mom called and asked how many ends they play (10). People always ask what's the deal with sweeping. (Physics my friend, physics....sweeping creates friction melting the ice and moving the rock faster and also keeping it from curling, hence, keeping it on the line). And scoring...well the stone closest to the button scores...like Bocci ball.

In curling there are no umpires. You have to be honest. It's a game of etiquette. You shake hands before and after the game. You compliment the opponents good rocks. Afterwards you sit down and have a drink with the opposing team. I love this at the Green Bay Curling Club, because we have a meal Thursday nights. We sit down and drink some Spotted Cow and usually eat something delicious. I am getting to know more people in Green Bay because of this, plus I get to hear all the inside gossip on the Olympic Curling Team (we share ice with the Women).

The other thing I absolutely love about curling is the endless opportunities to say "that's what she said." For example, here are the many things said in curling: "Hard! Hard! Hard!" "Yes! Yes!" "Whoah! Whoah!" "Get it right on the button." "Hurry! Hurry!" "Nice Rocks!"

After the Olympics (the first week in March) many of the Curling Clubs have an open house week. So if you are interested in curling, call up your local club (or google). I took a few people from church curling and they seemed to enjoy it. It's a nice challenge that doesn't require a lot of physical athletic ability. It's more about patience, reading the ice, and strategy.

I am done plugging curling. Time to return to watching the USA play Great Britain.

It's 8:30am Thursday morning and I'm trying to decide if I want to go into work tomorrow. I'm pretty good at showing up Monday-Wednesday, but once all my hours are pretty much blown, I get kind of lazy. It's not that I don't love my job, it's more that my church is not the busiest and it's pretty lonely sitting in an office all day. Plus it's beautiful outside. It's sunny and we are expected a high of 35. I know, I said 35 and high in the same sentence with lots of excitement.

I'm thinking today might be a good day to do some research at Barnes and Noble, library, and the Christian Book Store. I've decided to lead a Bible Study on Heaven and Hell for "younger" adults. We'll see who shows up. It's an interesting topic in itself.

I have tonight off from curling. I curl on a team of 5, which is nice because if I'm busy it's easy to find a sub. So tonight Doris asked me if I wanted it off so one of the other women can curl. I said yes. I really need to do laundry. All my work out clothes and dress pants are dirty.

So far I've lost at least 6 pounds working out. I just have 6 more to go. I probably would have done it by now if I didn't eat so much candy and junk food. Oh well, I would be miserable without my pizza and chocolate.

Running with Jesus

I survived my 10 mile run outside. I couldn't get myself out of bed to go run at 8am. Seriously, it was cold out. So instead I went at 11. Three hours really makes a difference. I figured out that to run down to Erik's church and back is 5 miles, so I ran a little loop circling Lambeau Field and dodging all the little girls who went to see Disney on Ice. ( I resisted all urges to yell at the parents for supporting Disney).

Yesterday I tried Yoga for the first time. It was interesting and I like it. I got to pretend to be a cow, dog, cat, cobra, dolphin, pigeon, eagle, and tree! I'm actually pretty flexible and I think Yoga is really going to help with my balance.

Work has been busy, especially since I work more hours. I really need to crack down this week and just pick an adult Bible Study. I'm going to head the Christian book store this afternoon/evening to get some ideas. Confirmation continues to go well, and I'm also working on planning the New York trip. It's great having a job where I get to try new things and can grow as a person. And the best part is I get to talk about scripture and get paid for it :)

Last night I took a group from church curling at the club. I had a good time. I didn't really get to curl much, because I spent most of the time helping people. The ice was also really fast, so people kept throwing it through the house.

Well, time to soak these sore muscles in a cold bath.

My Kick Butt Week

I'm getting pumped up to give blood tomorrow by listening to Elton John's "Some Saved my Life Tonight," because tomorrow I'm going to go save some lives.

This week was pretty awesome. Tuesday the church council voted to hire me for 3/4 time with benefits and a pension! I did my taxes and I'm getting a huge sum back. On Wednesday I ran 4.0 at a sub 10 minute pace. I'm excited about my new role in the church. I'm also nervous about failing, but as Dylan says, there is no success like failure.

So it's been a busy week and my life is about to get busier, but tomorrow is pay day and I have the day off!! I'm going to take myself to Culver's for that butter burger I promised myself a month ago. I think I might also take myself to a movie.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

I onced watched a movie called Always Greener. It was some independ film a bunch of kids in Fairfield, Iowa made. The movie was about some seniors in high school gearing up for a big party in Iowa City along with the "lady in red" who worked at the local gas station and the principal that gets addicted to Nintendo 64. In one scene they have a chocolate milk chugging contest and whoever wins gets a snowboard. Well, as you might know, you can't drink a gallon of chocolate milk without throwing up. Your stomach can not take that much lactose.

So that is why I am drinking a Quart, and not a gallon.

It's been taking some effort, some kicking and screaming, but I'm getting my (now more firm) ass to the gym. Monday I ran 4.0 Miles, Tuesday I attempted to swim (I am a horrible swimmer), and today I went for another 4.0 Miles. The important part of training is the rewards you reap. I still owe myself a butter buger and fries from Culvers for my 6 mile run last week. This week if I do 7 I might take myself to a movie.

But the good part, is that today I finally felt like all this running is paying off. All this lifting weights is starting to do some good. I haven't really lost any weight, but I am starting to tone down. Hurray for me!

Agenda

I'm spending a good portion of my week in the Twin Cities (that's Minneapolis/St. Paul). I'm attending Luther Seminary's Winter Convocation. It's been pretty good so far. I've remembered my love for scripture and why I went to Seminary. I feel more confident about what I'm doing at work. I'm excited to try some new things.

But then I'm also kind of "blah." It's kind of weird to be on campus. I spent three years here, and my close friends (or some of them) are not here, but spread through out the lower 48 and some of Europe. Still, it's good to see people and catch up. But it's a constant reminder of how fast life can change and how we must appreciate the short time we have together.

It's also a good reminder that I am done with school for awhile. Yeah, I've been thinking of going back and becoming a pastor, but maybe Luther is not right for me. All my favorite professors are retiring or leaving.

Of course this got me thinking about God's plans. Does God's plan mean the future or the here and now? It's probably both, but why is it when something horrible happens we always try to comfort people by saying "it's part of God's plan" or "God has something better in mind for you." Yeah, he had a different plan and something better in mind for his creation, but they mucked that up good and sound. But maybe this is. Maybe being in Green Bay and teaching people scripture is part of some grand plan in my life. Maybe it fulfills God's plan for creation. Maybe it helps restore the kingdom.

I do not know. I just know that someone once said "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." And well, God created life, so maybe plans are just human things we created to make ourselves feel better for screwing God's plan up. I don't know, this is becoming a bit of a ramble of uncensored thought.

Needless to say, I hope I'm on the right track for something.

Oh so Sore!

My body just aches. My arms are sore from lifting and then curling. You can laugh all you want, you try sweeping for two hours. I also shoveled Erik's driveway. My legs are sore from running and I whacked my hand on the treadmill so it's got this nasty bruise.

I have curling again tonight. I'm going to have to soak in the tub.

Life is pretty busy with work, curling, bible study, and running. Thank goodness! I was so bored. Next week I'm heading to the Twin Cities for Winter Convocation at Luther Seminary. I'm excited for a week in the "City." This small town stuff is getting to me.

Goals for 2010

Right, and so here we are. Another year over, a new one just begun. I kind of feel old. 10 years ago I graduated from high school. Last night I dreamed I was having a conversation in which I was absolutely certain that the 90s was the best decade in my life for music and then proceeded to name Dookie and Automatic for the People as two of the best albums.

Looking back 10 years, I am not where I thought I would be. Let's be honest. I thought by now I'd be teaching, married, and have a couple of kids. I either screwed that up, or God had another plan. Or maybe God had another plan and I screwed that up. Either way, many of my goals (like travel to Europe and not have any credit card debt) have not been accomplished. So I guess it's time to get on track.

It's time to make that wonderful list of goals that I make every year. Looking back on 2009, I did achieve a few things. I graduated from Seminary, wrote my thesis (maybe not as kick ass as I would have liked it to be), traveled to DC, got a job!, and took in two MLB games.

So here is my list for 2010:
_Increase income
_Save $ and Payoff Debts
_Lose 15 lbs or get back to size 6/8
_Run a Marathon
_Go Camping
_Move to a place where I can have a dog
_Learn Spanish (every year I put this!)
_Read the whole Bible (So far doing great!)
_Shop at the Farmer's Market more
_Stop driving and start biking
_Serve Food at Homeless Shelter

We'll see how that goes. In the meantime, today is the anniversary of my baptism. Hurray! A year ago I was officially adopted by God.