Thursday, April 21, 2011

Maundy Thursday

This afternoon a facebook friend posted, "Theological question for the evening, Could you stay wake all night in the garden if someone plied you with wine all through dinner?"  Thinking back to my adventures in high school and college I replied, "I'd be frolicking through the garden nude."

Actually, after a glass of wine I get pretty sleepy.  I would definitely need some 5 hour energy or tea to keep me up all night with Jesus.  Right now that Mt. Dew I had with my pizza is keeping me awake.

Tonight I participated in our Maundy Thursday service.  Every church does something different.  Tonight I was a reader, communion assistant, and even part of the sermon.  Wow!  I don't understand how Pastor's do that weekend after weekend.  I must say that being a part of the service in that way makes it much more meaningful for me.  Tonight as we stripped the Altar, I read aloud Psalm 22.

The facebook post, the service tonight, and the Mt. Dew has me up thinking about Jesus in that Garden, praying, knowing what is about to happen.  It occurred to me that Jesus never got to go to sleep again.  Wednesday was his last night of sleep, and then Thursday he has a long day filled with passover, foot washing, and then he's praying in the garden...and bam...arrest and downward spiral.  The man had to be exhausted.  There hanging on the cross, completely exhausted.  It's not just the torture, but the sure exhaustion that really bothers me tonight.  The fact that Jesus was up all night worrying and praying to God for comfort.  His frustration with the disciples for falling asleep, and his faith in God that this is the right thing. 

It all reminded me of the night I lost my sister.

I remember feeling hopeless.  Not being able to sleep.  Not understanding what had just happened, but praying to God that it would be okay.


I hate the phrases "Every thing happens for a reason" and "God has a plan."  I refuse to believe in a God that would take my sister away from me to cause pain to my family as part of some divine plan.  However, I find comfort in the fact that God knows what it means to be exhausted and in pain.  That God suffers with us in through our trials.  That tomorrow we will meet God at the cross and on Sunday, we will all wake up to find an empty tomb. 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

A Story

This past week I went to the Twin Cities for a thing at Luther Seminary called Winter Convocation.  Basically I heard a bunch of speakers, ate some food, hung out with friends, and then heard some more people talk.  It actually was pretty boring this year, except for the eat food and hang out with friends part, that was fantastic.  I also got to spend time with Erik, which is more fantastic!

On Groundhog's day, during my last workshop (which I didn't get the point of), Erik kept texting me to hurry up and come to the OCC (Student Campus Center).  After taking my time, and trying to get him to come meet me in Stubb Hall, I went to the OCC.  When I got the the OCC, his brother Andy was standing there holding a bouquet of flowers, which he gave to me and told me that my next clue was "a certain water fountain in the library."  "But there are lots of water fountains in the library!"  "He says you know."  Well, I did know, because when Erik and I first started dating, he sent me on a scavenger hunt.

In my knee high three inch heels and 15 degree weather I made my way from the OCC to the Library.  I looked under the water fountain and there was a picture of Toby where the call letters of a book.  I made my way to the book stacks and searched for the book.  I have to admit, it had been a while since I had used that filing system and it took me a while to find the book (and the Reese's!).  Inside the book was a note telling me to go check his mailbox.

I ventured outside again in my heels and thin gloves back to the OCC.  Meanwhile people are commented on my flowers.  Inside Erik's mailbox is a strip of pictures from a photo booth and a note telling me to tell me to "go to the stairwell where you first told me you wanted to date."

I'm not going to lie, I kind of knew what was up, but when I got that clue, I really knew and I got really excited and nervous.  I walked back outside to the stairwell in Bockman hall.  Erik was hiding around the corner.  I called out his name, and he peaked around the corner.  I said "hello."  He said "Hello.  You're suppose to ask if I have anything for you."  "Do you have anything for me?" I asked.

He pulled out a ring and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

And of course I said yes.

I absolutely love that he proposed to me in the same place I first told him I like him.  I now have an amazingly thoughtful sweet fiance.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Look I'm Blogging!

I live in this small town in the Midwest that has a professional football team.  Isn't that crazy?  A small town with professional sports.  What's even nuttier is that the team is owned by the town and the people.  Yeah, not some rich captialist guy, but common people.  And this team is going to the Super Bowl.  Which is even crazier considered the first half of the football season the majority of the team was injured.

Go Pack! Go!

Things are well.  Job is going well.  I decided not to go back to school for many reasons, but the main one is I enjoy working with the youth and want to focus on that (and advoid adults as much as possible).  I really enjoy it and I get to be creative. 

Erik got back from Norway in December.  We spent some days together over Christmas break, and then last weekend I went to go see him.  It was very cold in Minneapolis.  I'll see him next week when I go to Luther for Convocation.

I'm getting back into shape and training for a half-marathon.  I had slacked off too much for the full and I didn't want to run the full unless I could put in a good effort.  I've been at the gym everyday this week.  Except today was my rest day.

I've also started journaling again!  My hand cramps because I'm not use to writing, but it's probably better for me emotionally and spiritually then blogging.