Maundy Thursday

This afternoon a facebook friend posted, "Theological question for the evening, Could you stay wake all night in the garden if someone plied you with wine all through dinner?"  Thinking back to my adventures in high school and college I replied, "I'd be frolicking through the garden nude."

Actually, after a glass of wine I get pretty sleepy.  I would definitely need some 5 hour energy or tea to keep me up all night with Jesus.  Right now that Mt. Dew I had with my pizza is keeping me awake.

Tonight I participated in our Maundy Thursday service.  Every church does something different.  Tonight I was a reader, communion assistant, and even part of the sermon.  Wow!  I don't understand how Pastor's do that weekend after weekend.  I must say that being a part of the service in that way makes it much more meaningful for me.  Tonight as we stripped the Altar, I read aloud Psalm 22.

The facebook post, the service tonight, and the Mt. Dew has me up thinking about Jesus in that Garden, praying, knowing what is about to happen.  It occurred to me that Jesus never got to go to sleep again.  Wednesday was his last night of sleep, and then Thursday he has a long day filled with passover, foot washing, and then he's praying in the garden...and bam...arrest and downward spiral.  The man had to be exhausted.  There hanging on the cross, completely exhausted.  It's not just the torture, but the sure exhaustion that really bothers me tonight.  The fact that Jesus was up all night worrying and praying to God for comfort.  His frustration with the disciples for falling asleep, and his faith in God that this is the right thing. 

It all reminded me of the night I lost my sister.

I remember feeling hopeless.  Not being able to sleep.  Not understanding what had just happened, but praying to God that it would be okay.

I hate the phrases "Every thing happens for a reason" and "God has a plan."  I refuse to believe in a God that would take my sister away from me to cause pain to my family as part of some divine plan.  However, I find comfort in the fact that God knows what it means to be exhausted and in pain.  That God suffers with us in through our trials.  That tomorrow we will meet God at the cross and on Sunday, we will all wake up to find an empty tomb.