Lately I've been filled with mixed emotions. I've been so down about Erik leaving for Norway, and that whole relationship in general. Who goes off to Norway and just tells their girlfriend without any openness to a discussion for the future...after dating for a couple years.
In the end, I really needed to stand up and say, "hey, when am I am going to be a part of these decisions?" because I've never been.
Which gets me to thinking about relationships and life, and what does my future exactly hold?
I was thinking it's Bob Dylan's fault I can't find a guy. I have these hopeless romantic notions of being the Girl from the North Country or Absolutely Sweet Marie. I'd even go on to blame Neil Young and Tom Petty. I really do need to date a musician or a poet.
I've actually decided to go back to school and become a pastor. I'm in the process of apply for candidacy and to school. I've talked to my pastors as church and we're going to work something out so I can work and go to school. It will probably take me forever, but the way I see it, I'm going to be a pastor for life and this isn't something I'll do "for awhile."
I am excited about it, and a little nervous. I do love my job and I love working in the church. Yes, there is some political bullshit, but I think there will always be no matter where I go and what I do. The point is for some reason, I absolutely love talking about God and my Faith. I love to talk to others about their faith. I love the Bible and those stories. I eat it up like it's chocolate. Crazy, but it has to be.
My future is wide open. I may still be lonely in Green Bay, but I do love what I'm doing here and I'm not ready to leave it. I'm going to leave it up to God (or I guess the ELCA) to tell me when to move to the next place...
No comments:
Post a Comment