I pray for...

I am horrible at prayer.  When I have things at church that I need to lead a prayer for, I write it down first and then read it.  I'm sure this is acceptable, but I wish I could just pray out loud, but the only prayer that comes naturally from my mouth is "Come Lord Jesus."

I try to be a good little Christian and pray for my neighbors and friends in need.  I try to confess my sins and give thanks, the later being easier. But I also feel like a total slacker.  I get into bed at night and my first thought is "Shit, I forgot to pray."  I then try my best to pray in the way I was taught or I just give up trying my own thing and opt for the Lord's Prayer (which to be fair I pray at least twice a week).

Last night after I was done praying, I thought to myself: I am horrible at this, I am a rotten person.

Then I remembered that I am Lutheran and that thanks be to God I am not given my salvation based on my prayers and deeds.  Thank you God for GRACE!

This doesn't mean I stopped praying, I still pray.  But I pray for stupid things, like Doritos or bacon.  The thing is, sometimes I usually get those things.  (But come on, what cookout doesn't have chips???)  I kind of wonder if my prayers were really answered, or it's just coincidence.  Because why would God answer a prayer about food cravings and not about curing a dear friend's cancer.

These are the things I struggle with, but instead of running from them and declaring God non-existent, I've chosen to run in the other direction, having God embrace me in him/her arms and trust me to become a disciple and teacher of the The Word.